Siiiiigh.
So here I am back again in the office.
All nicely dressed up (despite the pain I still get from my stomach illness; price of being an adult I guess) and ready for a new work year.
For the past 3 weeks I was given the best holiday I had for over a year. I felt like a child with no responsibilities again. Just enjoying my time, having fun, having a good time. There were of course moments when I needed to be the adult again but they were few.
I love to be back home. There was a sort of peace that I never truly found here in Brisbane. A sense that everything will work out fine. It's almost like God knows who I am there and takes special care of me when I am there. It's as if there is a magnifying glass that focuses on me when I am home. I loved it in Singapore; I loved being home.
It's different.
In Brisbane, I got my own little 'family' here as well, but it really is different back there. It is a place where I grew up, a place where my memories are, a place that defines me. I had my first crush there, my first moment of glory, my first heartbreak. Nothing can ever change that.
I now have this constant yearning for something that has been torn out of my heart again. Sitting here in my office, among the people I have grown to like and work with, I feel something missing. A sense of nonsensical bond betweem them and myself. I don't believe I can ever call myself Aussie. I am Singaporean; I call myself Singaporean, and that's what sets us apart.
This is a place where I work, where I live, where I spend most of my time, but it can never be home.(?)
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1 comment:
Bernard my friend, there is a time for childhood and play and there is a time that we have to grow up and get by the adult life.
Nothing lasts forever, cherish your past but look forward to the future. Living in your past will just bring you misery.
It is natural to leave home when we grow up and learn to be independent. That's when we have to face something called 'life' and 'reality'.
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